


give you my wild, give you a child

by theprincessdiarist



Series: it's a (seattle) love story [2]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s07e18 Song Beneath the Song, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, This is just them being soft and talking about having babies someday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27064642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprincessdiarist/pseuds/theprincessdiarist
Summary: She thinks about babies with dark red hair and sparkling green eyes and for a moment, she fuckinghatesbiology.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Series: it's a (seattle) love story [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157825
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83





	give you my wild, give you a child

**Author's Note:**

> The musical is one of my favourite Grey's episodes ever. Unfortunately, for the purpose of this story, there is no scene where Addison steps off a helicopter in the pouring rain and sends our wlw hearts into overdrive, since she already works at Seattle Grace. However, there are many cuddles and some kisses and lots of domesticity that I hope make up for that. <3
> 
> Title from 'peace' by Taylor Swift.

Meredith is lying on the couch when Addison finally comes into the living room. She's changed into her _Yale_ sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants. Meredith is too tired to even move, let alone change her clothes. Addison sits down next to her and Meredith moves up a little so her head rests in Addison's lap. She gently begins running her fingers through Meredith's hair, who leans into her touch, instantly feeling drowsy.

Meredith has almost dozed off when she hears a sniff and a sharp breath. Her eyes shoot open and she looks up to see Addison's watery eyes and steadily reddening nose. Meredith instantly gets up from her lap (Addison mumbles something and tries to stop her) and sits up next to Addison. She wraps her arms around her and Addison throws her legs across Meredith's lap. Meredith leans forward and grabs a box of tissues from the coffee table and hands a few to Addison, who silently takes them and dabs at her face.

"I hate this day," Addison lets out between tiny sniffs.

"Me too, baby," Meredith agrees, "It was just..."

"Grueling. Terrifying. Stressful. Make you bang your head against the wall at how unfair life is." 

"Something like that, yes." Meredith nods solemnly.

Addison's arm tightens around Meredith's waist and she buries her face into her neck. Meredith pulls her closer, if that's even possible. She thinks about Callie lying open on that OR table and Arizona waiting in agony up in the gallery and Meredith cannot be more grateful to have Addison here with her, safe in her arms.

They sit silently. Meredith watches Addison fidget with the ring on her left hand, twisting and turning it. Meredith holds her hand instead, intertwining their fingers. Their hands look so pretty together. Meredith thinks about the time they took the day off together and Addison painted their nails matching electric blue. She could really use a day off right now. Or an entire week. She's fucking exhausted, and with the way Addison is almost in her lap, slumped against her body, so is she.

They've both stood in an OR for hours on end today and that isn't very much out of the ordinary, but it was for _Callie_ and it was fucking terrifying. But Callie's okay and the baby will be too because Addison is going to monitor her day and night but _holy fuck_ it still feels unreal.

"Mer?" Addison's voice pulls Meredith out of her thoughts. 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you ever want them? Children, I mean," Addison asks. It's so quiet Meredith almost doesn't hear it.

Meredith looks at Addison but her face doesn't give anything away. They haven't really talked about children before. Meredith knows she's been thinking about it though.

"Maybe. I don't know," Meredith replies. "You?"

"I do want them." Addison states simply, resting her head back on Meredith's shoulder.

Meredith hums. She closes her eyes. She pictures Addison, right here in their home. She pictures children running around, giggling, playing. It _fits_ , like she's meant to be a mother. Meredith has seen her with babies. (She's a surgeon who fixes babies, of course she holds babies all the time.) She has seen Addison glow with joy after saving a baby, and she has held her as she sobs after losing one. She has also seen Addison glancing at the baby aisle every time they go for a grocery run together (Jesus, not to mention the time she found Addison tearily holding baby shampoo and then quickly blaming it on her period.) 

"Okay, I do want babies, too. I would love to have one with you. Or more, as many as you want," Meredith decides to clarify.

Addison looks up at her, amused.

"It's just..." Meredith continues, "I just don't wanna end up like my mom. Cold, distant, all that good stuff."

"Oh, Mer," Addison whispers, "I think you'll be such a good mother."

"I'll probably drop the baby on its head. Or accidentally swear in front of it and then our kid's first word will be 'fuck' or 'pass the tequila'," Meredith groans, rubbing her eyes.

Addison lets out a deep laugh, the kind that makes her eyes crinkle and her nose scrunch in the cutest possible way. 

"Meredith, I'm not even allowed to call my mom 'Mom'," she snorts, "I have no idea what to do either."

It's true, Bizzy was- _is_ kind of a hard-ass. And Ellis was... well, _Ellis_ (but at least she acknowledged the fact that she was Meredith's mother.) Bizzy has always been kind to her but Meredith knows she wasn't the warmest mother around. She's seen Addison go into overdrive when Bizzy visits, just to somehow please her mother. 

"Jesus, Addie," Meredith suddenly laughs, "We're a pair, with our shining star mothers."

Addison grins in response but then her expression softens, "Yeah, but it's okay. We'll be okay."

Meredith hums in agreement. They will be. It's kind of impossible to _not_ be okay when Addison is on your side. And no, Meredith does not just think that because she loves Addison and is going to marry her and all that good stuff, it's _true_. (She told Addison that she brings good juju, because _Addison_ , of all people, believes in that stuff, and Addison had rolled her eyes and pretended like she wasn't about to cry.)

"You'll be the cool mom," Addison suddenly breaks the silence, "I'll be the helicopter mom and the kids will grow up to resent me."

"Oh, _fuck off._ I can already see you spoiling them rotten," Meredith chuckles, "You'll give them snacks before dinner and buy them whatever random shit they ask for during grocery runs... yeah, the kids will love you." 

Addison laughs. She's teary eyed again, but she's smiling this time. Meredith feels a rush of relief. Addison pulls her closer and presses a soft kiss against her mouth. Meredith deepens the kiss, shifting until she's in Addison's lap. She basks in the closeness, the warmth, the knowledge that Addison is here and safe with her. It's gentle, comforting and they finally break apart, breathless, looking into each other's eyes. 

"I hope they have your hair," Meredith says, tucking a lock behind Addison's ear, "I fucking love your hair." 

Addison smiles. "Your eyes."

"We have the same eye colour, Addie."

"No, we don't! Different shades, anyway," Addison replies. Her eyes soften as she cups Meredith's cheek, brushing her thumb across. "Besides, your eyes shine when you're happy. It's beautiful."

Meredith grins.

"Yeah, just like that." Addison kisses her again. 

Addison pulls her closer and buries her face in Meredith's neck. Meredith tucks her fingers in Addison's hair and rests her head above hers. She thinks about babies with dark red hair and sparkling green eyes and for a moment, she fucking _hates_ biology. 

"Would we use a donor?" she asks, because its a valid question that they need to to address.

"I don't know, honestly. I always thought..." Addison begins.

"That you'd just have kids with a man?"

"Well, yeah," Addison replies, looking sheepish, "It was a foregone conclusion in my head, you know? Meet a nice guy, get married, have kids, all that." 

"Mine too, kind of," Meredith nods absently, "But there can be so many issues with that also." 

"Oh yes, lots," Addison agrees. Meredith sees a flash of hurt on her face, but it's gone before she can say something.

"We can always adopt, right?" Meredith pipes up, "We've got options, Addie!"

"Absolutely." 

"Although we'll probably have to get married for that."

Addison chuckles, pulling Meredith's left hand into her own. She outlines the ring with her finger. "If only I could build up the courage to ask you." 

Meredith giggles in response. She pecks Addison's cheek and leans over to the end of the couch, grabs a blanket and throws it over them. She wraps her arms around Addison again, who presses a kiss to her head.

"It doesn't matter how we have them. They'll be ours, no matter what," Addison breathes into her hair.

Meredith sighs contentedly. She feels kind of excited now. The thought of children, with _Addison_ , it's almost overwhelming (But in a good way. She can handle this.) 

Addison resumes stroking her hair, and Meredith feels drowsy again. She closes her eyes and thinks about it; two pairs of little feet waddling around (three, even, if Addison wants), giggles and joyful screams filling the air, coming home to a _family_ , one that she wanted so desperately for herself growing up.

She knows she has issues, both she and Addison haven't exactly known warm, motherly love. But when Meredith thinks about her, the woman at her side, the kindest, most loving, gentle person she knows, it's all so clear. She will be such a wonderful mother that it already takes Meredith's breath away. 

She dozes off against Addison's chest, tucked in a blanket, safe with the knowledge that yes, they can do this. (It does scare her, because most of Meredith's plans just go to shit. Life finds one way or another to fuck with her.) But this thing, this family they want to build together, they will have it. She has Addison by her side, and Addison deserves everything good in this world. Meredith will make sure she gets it. They _will_ have this, and it will be perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had such a dreadful week and I'm so happy to be back! This baby was surprisingly cathartic to write given how personal this topic is for me. I listened to peace on repeat and I just had to get it all out of my system. (Meanwhile the wips in my drafts rot away, begging me to edit them and let them out into the world.....)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Let me know your thoughts because I literally run on feedback haha (or just tell me abt your day, honestly I just love reading whatever you guys write me). <3


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